Single women deserve honeymoons too—and no, I’m not talking about a girls’ trip

I’m on a speedboat whizzing towards my latest vacation destination. As we bounce along, I attempt to take a selfie. The shot I want is the waves, the boats, the islands, but I can’t seem to get the kissing couples out of the background. No matter which way I turn, there are honeymooners in my viewfinder. The boat operators and I are the only single people on this vessel. Technically, I, too, am a part of a couple—actually, a throuple of single girlfriends heading for an Anguilla getaway. The trip is what I like to call a we-moon.

So often, we have our dream destinations on reserve for the day we can go with the person we’ve agreed to spend our life with. There’s the honeymoon and the babymoon, but when do single women get to celebrate life milestones and fulfil the desire for companionship and adventure? That’s the we-moon.

For my most recent we-moon, I was joined by two girlfriends. Now, you are probably wondering: What is the difference between this and your average girls’ trip? Well, similar to a honeymoon or babymoon, a we-moon is taken to celebrate a big life milestone. For me, it was my first book. Single women are so often travelling to celebrate others for their bachelorette or wedding or baby shower. Rarely do we get friends to travel and celebrate something that doesn’t fit into the typical timeline.

That is the purpose of a we-moon. It’s making the phone call to ask your friends to travel and celebrate an achievement with you, just like you do for others. It could be a promotion, a new job, a masters degree, or a book deal.

When crafting the perfect we-moon, there are things to keep in mind to make sure that the trip goes smoothly. I spoke to Joy Harden Bradford, PhD, author of Sisterhood Heals about the best way to pull off a destination celebration with no drama.

Book separate rooms

On a honeymoon or babymoon, the whole point is to spend more time together. On a we-moon, it’s a balance of time together and time alone. That’s why Dr. Bradford recommends separate rooms if your budget allows. For this Anguilla trip, we were staying in a villa rental, so we all had our own room and bathroom. It was perfect for the early risers who wanted to read a book on their balcony quietly, or late sleepers who wanted to lie in and order room service. This location was perfect for the we-moon because our hotel had the privacy of a personal home but we could still tap into hotel amenities and personalised services. Whatever you decide, you should talk about it ahead of time.

“I think having a place where everybody can retreat and have alone time is really good if that is something that the group can do. So private sleeping quarters are important,” she says. “Also having conversations about budget ahead of time. Because some people [might say], ‘Oh, we don’t need a five-star hotel. We’re just going to be there to sleep. We’re going to be out.’ And other people are like, ‘No, I like luxury.’ So you don’t want to wait until you get there to find out that there’s a difference in the group about that.”