Every parent has experienced that moment when the crying won’t stop, the arguments keep escalating, and patience feels like it’s hanging by a thread. In those overwhelming few minutes, it’s easy to wonder if you’re failing your child or yourself.
Social media often paints parenting as calm, composed and instinctive. But behind closed doors, even the most experienced parents have days when emotions run high.
For Dr Madhavi Bharadwaj, a paediatrician and parenting educator affectionately known on Instagram as the ‘Bacchon Ki Doctor’, one such evening became a powerful reminder that the best way to help a child through a meltdown is sometimes first to calm yourself.
For an overwhelmed parent, regulating yourself isn’t selfish — it can change the way you respond to your child’s biggest emotions. Photograph: (Instagram/@bacchon_ki_doctor)
In a candid conversation shared on her Instagram, Dr Madhavi talks about how exhaustion, sibling rivalry and endless crying pushed her to her limit. Her story isn’t about a parenting trick or a quick fix. Instead, it offers an honest lesson in emotional regulation — one that comes not just from years of treating children but from navigating motherhood herself.
‘I knew I would have shouted’
“It was bedtime, and both of them were fighting,” she recalls. One daughter wanted the toy the other had, tempers flared, and within moments, both children were crying at the top of their lungs.
“She pulled my hair, both of them were crying at full volume, and after the whole day, I was so tired,” she says.
A parent’s pause can create the space needed for a child’s storm to settle too. Photograph: (Edexlive)
In that moment, Dr Madhavi recognised something many parents struggle to admit.
“If I had dealt with them then, I would have either shouted or hit them, which I knew I didn’t want to do.”
Instead of forcing herself to respond immediately, she chose to step away.
‘I had to put myself first’
Dr Madhavi walked into another room and began folding clothes.
“Someone might see this and think, ‘Is she a responsible mother? Her kids are crying and she’s folding clothes. ‘ But no, I was regulating myself.”
As she folded five or six pieces of clothing, her breathing slowed, her thoughts settled, and the emotional overwhelm began to pass.
Only then did she return.
“I came back to the room, calmed them both down, hid the ball, engaged them in something else, started reading a book, and then put them both to sleep.”
Her husband was out of town that day, so handing over parenting duties wasn’t an option.
“I had to calm myself down first, and then I calmed my children.”
Why parents need a pause too
Parents are often expected to respond instantly to every meltdown. But Dr Madhavi’s experience is a reminder that taking a brief pause isn’t neglect; it can be an act of care.
Children borrow emotional cues from the adults around them. When a parent reacts in anger, the situation often escalates. But when the adult returns feeling calmer, they’re far better equipped to comfort, redirect and reconnect.
Sometimes, the best way to hold space for a child’s big emotions is to first give yourself a moment to breathe. Photograph: (Instagram/@bacchon_ki_doctor)
Dr Madhavi’s story offers a gentle reminder to every overwhelmed parent: stepping away for a minute to regulate yourself doesn’t make you irresponsible. It helps you become the calm, steady presence your child needs most.
Because sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for your children is to first be kind to yourself.
