We’ve spent 300 millions on
Improvements to the team
But managed to go backwards
This season, it would seem;
We’ve failed to score in four games now
And likely never will,
Condemned to hear on Final Score
“Tottenham Hotspur 0”
It’s no surprise at five to five
It’s goalless yet again;
When once we’d Greaves and Klinsmann,
Lineker and Kane
We’ve now a bunch of cloglumps
So wait in pain until
The scoreline will no longer read
“Tottenham Hotspur 0”
I saw last night on Channel 4
That programme called “Time Team”
Uncovering relics from the past
Historically themed,
When I could not believe my eyes
(I messed with the controls)
It showed a find of Roman coins
Then Harry Kane’s best goals.
For now we cannot win a game
Nor even can we score;
In 60 years of watching them
They’ve never been so poor;
We/’re needing a Messiah
To stir this turgid swill
And end the repetition of
“Tottenham Hotspur 0”
