Last night when I went home to see my mum,
she nagged me all night long about the beard;
went on and on until my ears were numb,
and told me it was time it disappeared.
I said I thought it made me look quite cool
and maybe even somewhat dignified,
but she came back with “Vinny, you’re a fool!”
and said this time she would not be denied.
She went and got my dad’s old razor out,
and made me shave it off without delay;
when I complained she gave me such a clout
the blade that I was using slipped astray.
It sliced me, and you should’ve seen it bleed,
and now a single earring’s all I’ll need.
