DISCLAIMER: While this story is true, all comparisons to any actual persons are merely coincidental. However, none of the story is dramatized or exaggerated for entertainment purposes. The column is written under a pseudonym to protect the identities of all involved.
Contrary to popular belief, I’m not heartless. I might have a tendency to act with anything but emotion in mind when it comes to men, but that does not mean I don’t have feelings. Or, to better clarify, that I can’t develop them for someone.
I’ve been in relationships and situationships galore, and while being in love is a great feeling, the feeling of crashing back down to reality once it’s over has made me choose the lifestyle I lead today. The single game is too easy to win, not being tied down to anyone is easier and more fun.
Although, you can’t win ‘em all. To try and humanize myself to you all, I’m bringing in my big guns: Ayce. When it comes to avoiding becoming attached, do as I say, not as I do.
Quiet and handsome, Ayce’s stature was one of the first things that stood out to me. He was tall and muscular, but he held himself as if he wasn’t. It was almost as if he had no idea of the effect he had on other people. Humbleness is always a good quality, but who knows? I had just met him, so maybe he wasn’t as he seemed.
13th tip: Don’t romanticize their good qualities, take them at surface value. When you’ve just met, people only show you what they want you to see.
Even if they may not have been accurate to his character, the good qualities didn’t stop there. Ayce and I had good conversations and even better sex. The conversations often carried into the sex. Who knew you could have a bantering debate while being physically preoccupied?
After a long night at his (to the dismay of his roommates), Ayce wrapped me up in his hoodie and sweatpants and cuddled me to bed. I remember thinking that I could keep something like that going. It felt good.
P.S. If you were wondering where his nickname was derived from, it’s an acronym for a buffet. All You Can Eat.
Unfortunately, it felt so good with Ayce that I didn’t want to see any of my other prospects. Why should I settle for the scrubs when I had someone that matched my freak perfectly? Cutting off my roster for the tall blonde ended up being another mistake I made, when I thought I was doing something right.
14th tip: Don’t take it too seriously in the beginning. Just because you’re seeing each other often doesn’t mean you need to have the rest of your roster see themselves out. Options are good until you’re sure you don’t need them.
Of course, as soon as I start prioritizing Ayce over my other boys, it all fell apart. He bailed on plans that we had with a text that wasn’t even a full sentence. I was left on delivered for days at a time. When I was finally granted the honor of basking in His Majesty’s presence, he bought me an uber right after. I didn’t see him again, and I never even found out why.
I was distraught. I told my sister about this guy, what was I supposed to do? As I wallowed in my lost crush, I unpaused my Tinder and Hinge accounts and opened my Snapchat. I had some serious recon to do.
Don’t be fooled though, they always come back. After being ghosted for over a month, Ayce texted me on a night out, while I was in another guy’s car. I bet you can guess how I responded. If you can’t, my last tip for you is a pretty good hint.
15th tip: When they inevitably come crawling back, don’t answer. You’ll just be setting yourself up for disappointment when they disappear again.
Layla Starling can be reached at arts@dailycollegian.com and editorial@dailycollegian.com. Also, my number is 678-999-8212, text me
