Screen Queen TV Reviews: 70 Up, Small Prophets, Carrie, Gnomes & The Kardashians

Screen Queen TV Reviews: 70 Up, Small Prophets, Carrie, Gnomes & The Kardashians

70 Up

Wednesday, 8.30pm, SBS

“Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man” — that old adage is the central premise behind this extraordinary documentary series, which has followed 14 British children for an astonishing 63 years, checking in with them every seven years through the entirety of their lives.

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What an unbelievable undertaking.

It began as a one-off film, and now, six decades on, it’s finishing up with an incredible final film.

Those who have followed the show through the years will be aware its long-running director, Michael Apted, died in 2021 — the previous installment, 63 up, was thought to be the last.

That is, until Oscar-winning director Asif Kapadia resurrected it after long-time producer Claire Lewis got a call from one of the participants, Nick Hitchon.

He told her he had terminal cancer, and wanted to film one final chat.

Kapadia stepped aboard after Hitchon died, and that interview, together with others with the show’s participants, is stitched together to make this remarkable rumination on not just the passing of time, but also the effect the documentary itself has had on its participants.

It is a delight, as always, to check back in with those fresh-faced innocent faces from 1964 some six decades on, to find out whether that old saying really does hold true.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide, but in my mind, remarkably, it appears that it has.

This is a beautiful, bittersweet, and deeply emotional watch, and will be particularly significant for viewers of a similar vintage, whose own lives have run in parallel with those featured in this incredible undertaking.

This is a profoundly moving piece of television — do not miss it.

Small Prophets

Wednesday, streaming on Apple TV Plus

Small Prophets is coming to Apple TV Plus. Credit: Supplied

How do you pitch a TV show about a man whose wife has disappeared, who decides to grow strange humanoid fortune-telling spirits in jars in his shed in the hopes they will provide answers as to why she left?

This show, starring Pearce Quigly as said man, with Sir Michael Palin as his ageing dad and a heap of stop-motion puppets as the magical “homunculi”, is absolutely impossible to describe, but absolutely one of the best shows you’ll watch this year — thank goodness it was green-lit.

Carrie

Wednesday, streaming on Prime Video

Carrie is coming to Prime Video. Credit: Robert Falconer/Prime

With the big man of horror himself, Stephen King, aboard as an executive producer, you have our permission to officially get excited about this TV reimagining of his 1974 novel, set in the present day. Early buzz is overwhelmingly positive — horror fans, get excited.

Gnomes

Thursday, streaming on Stan

Gnomes is streaming on Stan — just in time for Halloween. Credit: Supplied.

Sex Education’s Asa Butterfield stars in this homegrown horror-comedy series about a small Aussie town besieged by. . . killer garden gnomes. This is every bit as ridiculous as it sounds — one for Halloween tragics.

The Kardashians

Thursday, streaming on Disney Plus

The Kardashians are returning to the small screen. Again. Credit: Supplied.

I’m not entirely sure I like this famous family. And yet, 19 years on, I continue to check in with them via their manufactured dog and pony show. Masochistic much? Urgh — I hate me, too.

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