The Seine keeps flowing beneath me
carrying reflections
carrying leaves
carrying everything
except what I want it to take
I think of our child
then I think of you Oak
and wonder how a heart can break twice
and still wake up the next morning
We were two people drowning
in the same house
reaching for each other
with hands too tired to hold
I remember the bathroom
the running tap
my face in the mirror
practising a smile
before returning to you
You thought your pain was becoming mine
you thought leaving would set me free
I wish you had told me
I would have told you
I did not need you whole
I did not need you healed
I did not need you strong
I needed you alive
Now I walk through France
your dream beneath my feet
and every beautiful thing feels wrong
because you are not here to see it
The river keeps moving
the city keeps breathing
and I stand beside the water
wondering how the world can remain so beautiful
after taking everything I loved
