This story is part of “Parenting: What Google Won’t Tell You” — The Better India’s people-led parenting series that goes beyond conventional advice to document how real families are actually raising their children. Through real parents, parenting coaches, influencers and experts, the series brings honest, diverse and relatable perspectives on the questions, choices, challenges and solutions that shape everyday parenting — the things Google can’t always answer.
You’ve had a long day. You’re tired, your head is full, and all you want is a few quiet minutes. But the moment you walk through the door, your child is ready with a list: “Mumma, play with me! Let’s draw! Can we go outside?”
The instinct may be to say, “I’m fine,” or simply push through the exhaustion because you don’t want your child to see you struggling.
But what if saying,“Mumma is tired today. I need a little rest,” could actually teach your child something valuable?
Parents often feel they need to shield children from difficult emotions. Yet children are usually quick to notice when something feels different — a tired face, a quieter voice, a little less patience. When we name what we are feeling calmly, instead of hiding it or letting it spill over, we give them a chance to understand emotions healthily.
You don’t have to hide every difficult emotion. Saying “I’m tired” can teach children what healthy emotional expression looks like. Photograph: (Instagram/ @parenting_with_shivani)
This is something parenting coach Shivani Tyagi, who shares parenting guidance on Instagram as @parenting_with_shivani, recently illustrated through a simple moment with her daughter.
After a seven- to eight-hour car journey, Shivani reached a hotel feeling completely exhausted. Her daughter Ahana, meanwhile, was ready to play.
“Mama, let’s go for a walk, let’s play, let’s do painting,” she told her.
Instead of pretending she was fine, Shivani simply said, “Ahana, I’m very, very tired and exhausted. I need some time.”
A little later, Ahana came and sat beside her, giving her hugs and kisses.
For Shivani, the moment was a reminder that children don’t necessarily need parents to hide their emotions. They need to see what healthy emotional expression looks like.
Children learn emotional expression by watching us
When parents hide every difficult feeling, children can still sense that something is wrong. A tight jaw, a heavy silence, or a sudden change in tone can sometimes leave them wondering: Is Mumma upset? Did I do something?
Naming the feeling gives them context.
“By naming feelings calmly, we teach three things at once: all emotions are allowed here, feelings can be spoken instead of exploded, and hard moments pass,” says Shivani.
So instead of silently withdrawing when exhausted, a parent could say, “Mumma is feeling tired today. I need a few quiet minutes to rest.”
The child learns that feeling tired is normal, and that taking a break is a healthy response.
Try this three-part approach
Shivani suggests keeping it simple: name the feeling, say what you need, and reassure your child.
For example:
Tired: “Mumma’s body is very tired today. I need some rest, then we’ll play.”
Frustrated: “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk.”
Overwhelmed: “There’s a lot happening today, and I’m feeling it all at once. Let’s slow down together.”
Children learn by watching us. When we pause instead of reacting, we show them that big feelings can be handled calmly. Photograph: (Knot 9)
The reassurance is important too, particularly when a child seems concerned. Parents can add, “It’s not because of you. Grown-ups get big feelings too, and I know how to take care of mine.”
Let them see the feeling, not carry it
Expressing emotions in front of children does not mean sharing every adult problem with them. Financial worries, marital conflicts, or health fears are things children do not need to carry.
Similarly, intensely venting at a child can make them feel responsible for comforting their parent.
The idea is to show them the manageable, healthy version of an emotion: “I’m worried, so I’m going to take a quiet moment,” rather than making them part of the worry.
Sometimes, children don’t need a solution. They just need to understand what’s happening — and know that a little love can help. Photograph: (Instagram/@parenting_with_shivani)
Over time, these small moments can teach children that emotions are neither scary nor something they need to hide.
They can say, “I’m sad.” They can ask for a break. They can seek a hug. And, just like Ahana did, they can learn that sometimes the best response to someone saying, “I’m tired,” is simply to sit beside them and offer a little love.
