Vaginal wetness (which is a slang term for vaginal lubrication) during sexual activity and sex is completely normal. In fact, it’s a natural physiological response in women during sexual arousal, and an essential part of the body’s preparation for sex for a number of positive reasons.
But, for some women, the amount of vaginal lubrication they experience may start to feel uncomfortable or distracting. Is it possible to become “too wet” during sex? And how can one manage this in a practical way to reduce discomfort?
Today, we’ll talk about why women get wet during sex, why some women feel like they have “too much” wetness, and different ways to help them feel less uneasy or awkward about the situation with hands-on tips.
When a woman gets sexually aroused, the body goes through a slew of different changes (the sexual response cycle). How they get sexually aroused can vary greatly, be it from physical touch, mental stimulation, or even anticipation.
Arousal starts in the brain where signals trigger increased blood flow to the genitals, leading to the vulva, vagina, and clitoris to swell. This leads to fluid being released from different sources. The Bartholin’s Glands, near the vaginal opening, releases a clear, slippery fluid, the cervix produces mucus, the vagina walls “sweat” a plasma-like fluid, and the Skene’s Gland secretes additional fluid, especially during intense arousal or orgasm.
Why does all of this happen? Well, all of these fluids (lubrication) have multiple functions. Being wet during sex means:
- reduced friction during penetration
- enhanced pleasure as it makes movements smoother
- a maintained healthy pH that protects against infections by flushing out bacteria
- having a healthy arousal mechanism
This vaginal lubrication is typically clear or slightly milky and slippery, and can start anywhere from seconds to minutes after feelings of arousal. It can also increase with time.
Why Do Some Women Feel “Too Wet” During Sex?
Everyone experiences arousal differently. And what may feel “normal” for one woman may feel completely uncomfortable for another.
It’s important to know however that there’s no such thing as being “too wet” from a medical standpoint. In fact, experiencing this sensation is often a positive thing as it means that there is a strong sexual response.
However, if you feel as though you’re “too wet” during sex, it can bring about negative consequences. For example, it can reduce sensation, cause you to feel self-conscious, and it may just seem too excessive. Why is it happening?
- High levels of arousal: intense sexual excitement or prolonged foreplay can result in more blood flow and fluid production
- Hormonal influences: during ovulation, pregnancy, or while on birth control, estrogen levels are higher which can increase overall wetness
- Menstrual cycle: you may feel “too wet” right before ovulation as the body prepares for pregnancy (even if you’re not trying to conceive)
- Other varying factors: as mentioned, everyone is different. Some women just naturally produce more vaginal lubrication than others due to genetics, being well-hydrated, their diet, age, medications etc.
At the end of the day though, being “too wet” during sex is merely a normal response to arousal, and if anything, it’s seen as a positive response to sexual excitement.
How to Manage Feeling “Too Wet” During Sex
Without stopping the body’s natural response, there are ways that you can address the discomfort attached to being “too wet” during sex.
1. Change positions
If you feel as though one specific position creates more wetness, you could try other sex positions that create more friction. For example, ones that offer more shallow penetration or when your legs are closer together, like missionary sex with your legs closed or spooning sex.
2. Use a soft, clean towel
When you’re starting to feel uncomfortable, physically and/or mentally, you could use a soft, clean towel or a warm, damp cloth to gently pat or wipe away excess fluid during sex. In this way, you can reduce some of the wetness without drying out.
3. Use sex toys
When being “too wet” gets in the way of feeling sensations, and penetration isn’t starting to feel so great, you could opt for other erogenous zones using sex toys (or fingers). Perhaps a bullet vibrator or a wand massager for external stimulation, or anal sex toys for a different type of sensation.
4. Use props
You could place a towel under you to absorb some of the excess wetness.
5. Shorter foreplay
If the anticipation of sex and longer bouts of foreplay tend to make you feel more wet, opt for shorter foreplay sessions, or taking a break to let things reset.
Lifestyle and Preventative Tips if You’re Feeling “Too Wet” During Sex
While the above mentioned tips are great, you could use them in conjunction with a few lifestyle changes to see if it makes any difference.
Some things that may influence the amount of lubrication you produce include:
- Hydration & diet: staying hydrated is important, but you could reduce caffeine or alcohol intake slightly
- Kegel exercises: using things such as Ben Wa Balls can help you to strengthen your pelvic floor which could, in turn, make your vagina feel tighter during sex, aiding in more sensations
- Products & underwear: it’s always better to use unscented wash products and to wear cotton underwear to keep a natural pH balance
- Check your hormones: you could visit a doctor to check your hormones or talk to them if you’re on a contraceptive, or you could track your menstrual cycle via an app
- Added lubricant: don’t add in any lubricant products to your play time
Should You See a Doctor About Being “Too Wet” During Sex?
As we mentioned, in a medical sense, there is nothing wrong with feeling “too wet” during sex. Vaginal fluid, in essence, is not harmful, no matter how much is released during arousal. And if you feel as though you’re very wet during sex, it’s merely a normal response to sexual arousal, and a sign of good blood flow and healthy tissue.
But, we do understand that there can be a level of discomfort when it comes to feeling “too wet”. It can result in feeling less sensations, making penetration less stimulating, and making it harder to climax. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should see a doctor about the situation though.
Consider visiting a gynecologist if:
- You’re experiencing (constant) wetness that’s not linked to arousal
- You have a sudden increase in wetness unrelated to sexual activity
- You have a strong or fishy odour
- You have yellow, green, gray, or frothy discharge
- You experience pain during sex
- You experience vaginal burning, itching, or irritation
- You’re bleeding between periods
- You’re needing pads daily because of constant discharge
- Wetness is soaking through your clothing
- You have constant discomfort or skin irritation
The bottom line is that, being wet or feeling as though you’re “too wet” is not a bad or harmful thing. In actuality, it’s a sign that your body’s arousal system is working perfectly fine.
But, if you feel discomfort, there are actionable steps you can take, one of which includes seeing a gynecologist who can assist you, and possibly check your hormones if need be.
There are other at-home ways to manage feeling “too wet” though so that you can experience the pleasure and bliss accompanied by sex and sexual activity once again.
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