(Marvellous emporium of spurious tat)
I drove to my supermarket
My Austin there I did park it
I’d just gone there for some bacon
And tin to put Christmas cake in;
But before I reached the till
Because I had some time to kill
I wandered round the Lidl store
An blow me, sideways! There I saw
Fashionware and all in style
“Showcased” in the middle aisle.
Lots of things for my Christmas list
Things no sane person could resist
A double base and plastic flute,
A five-man tent and diving suit;
A Santa that was 10 feet tall
A model of Niagara Falls
Night goggles and ironing board
At prices we can all afford
Bargains stacked mile after mile
At Lidl in the middle aisle.
A 12 pint jar of Heinz Mayo
A 12 year old Ford Mondeo
A pig’s head and 6 pheasants
These should cover friends presents;
Trolley piled up 6 feet high
No more room for things to buy;
Lidl promises “No Frills”
So made my way towards the tills;
I took my card out but then found
All this just came to seven pounds.
Bargains, bargains all the while
At Lidl in the middle aisle,
