Society, overwhelmed by screens and “’likes”, evades reality,
like Paul, who, exhausted by bad news, wants to evade them
because he is already dealing with his own set of problems,
which are more than enough for him and he takes refuge in
his phone. Today is an ordinary day for Paul, a perfect
reflection of the lives of millions at this very moment,
trapped in a routine that could easily be yours.
The alarm clock bursts in with its digital beeping. The
telephone, that inseparable companion, announces the new
day. Without thinking, Paul’s finger slides across the screen
and silences the alarm. He half-opens his eyes, struggling
against the weight of the sheets. Sleep claims him, a yawn
escapes his throat. Last night he stayed up late, lost in the
luminous abyss of his cell phone, jumping from one video to
another, from one publication to another, without direction
or end. Now he pays the price.
He drags himself to the kitchen, where a steaming cup of
coffee in one hand tries to wake him up, while the other
clutches the phone as if it were an extension of his body. But
something is not right. A lump forms in his throat, his breath
catches, his tongue dries up as if he’s swallowed sand. He
scrolls through his latest social media post, hoping, almost
begging, for the “likes” that don’t come. Disappointment
hits him like a silent punch: why do others, with their absurd
photos and empty comments, garner hundreds of hearts
and he doesn’t? His self-esteem is shaken before his day
even begins.
Paul’s problem is not unique; it is a silent pandemic, woven
into human biology itself. Every “like”, every comment,
triggers a small explosion of dopamine in the brain, that
neurotransmitter that makes us feel pleasure, like when we
eat chocolate, win a game or, in extreme cases, consume a
drug. Posting on networks is, for the brain, a primal cry,
“Give me my reward!”. And when it doesn’t come, the
emptiness hurts. It’s a search for validation that begins in
childhood — the approval of a parent, a teacher, a friend —
but that networks have amplified and digitized into a
modern addiction. Without those “likes,” that approval,
anxiety grows, exclusion weighs, and stress and depression
lurk.
The world Paul lives in has changed. Reality no longer
moves as it once did. Death, hunger, injustice, everything
passes before the eyes like a fleeting headline on the
screen, leaving no trace. Empathy fades, replaced by a
lethargic indifference. Face-to-face interactions have
become relics; now, life is lived through the telephone, a
filter that dictates what is true without requiring questioning.
Paul, like so many, has become a passive, moldable receiver,
devoid of critical vision.
Yes, there are countries that send armies to massacre
civilians and justify it with cold speeches. Yes, there are
nations in which their misfits shoot up schools in search of a
moment of notoriety. Yes, there are fanatics who kill and
immolate themselves, convinced that 40 virgins await them
in the afterlife. But these horrors have become routine, a
background noise that no longer surprises. What does it
matter what happens in Sudan, in Gaza, with the Uighurs or
in Ukraine, if nothing can be done? It’s tired, boring news.
Better to watch a cat video or the feed of Mary or Louis’ reel.
It is this indifference that makes doing nothing to become
nothing. The only thing that motivates now is recognition,
the acceptance, the harvest of “likes”. And this indifference,
this passivity, is exactly what those who pull the strings want
to happen.
The obsession with seeking validation has reached absurd
levels. Some people pay for likes and fake followers in a
desperate attempt to appear popular. Accounts with
thousands of followers but little activity are proof of this
phenomenon. Most of the content posted by these
individuals is intended to project an image of humor or
intelligence. These individuals are mostly there to see others
and to be accepted, but they are not actually being
themselves. Their primary motivations are often rooted in a
desire for external validation and acceptance rather than
authentic self-expression.
Meanwhile, influencers weave empty narratives or promote
trivia, distracting a bored and disengaged audience that
accepts everything without question. But what most people
don’t know is that behind the “like” button on the small
screen is more than an innocent gesture. It is a complex
interplay of psychology, economics and technology, an
instant barometer of public opinion designed to deliver a
reward and to ensure that users remain engaged. With each
interaction, the brain asks for more, trapping people in a
cycle of post, wait and repeat. It fosters vanity, feeds
addiction, distorts reality and perpetuates lies.
Influencers know this well. They charge fortunes to activate
these mental springs, launching outrageous comments or
selling ideas without substance with messages that spread
like wildfire in the digital undergrowth, as these messages
are forwarded by users without any analysis. The more
outrageous the message, the more attention it gets, and
with every view or like, their profits grow. But the real booty
is not for them, but for those who fund them: a company
promoting a brand or a politician looking to influence a
large audience. These individuals can spread messages that
resonate with hundreds of thousands of people in a matter
of seconds, with minimal effort. It’s not just deception; it’s
control and manipulation. People are moved like pawns on a
chessboard, unaware that they’re being used as a product
and turned into passive subjects who can be conditioned to
make impulsive, implanted decisions.
Deep down, no one wants to know about problems. They
prefer entertainment, glamour, the illusion of success
reflected on the phone screen. An influencer made up to
perfection smiles and talks about banalities; the women who
look at her may admire or hate her, but they imitate her, and
men, when they see her, secretly dream of theirs to look like
her and are swayed by the idealized representations of
women they see on networks. Everyone idolizes a retouched
image, an ordinary woman who has undergone
Photoshopped surgery, as if she were real. This creates a
social expectation that leads women to seek physical
alterations to achieve an unattainable standard of beauty.
Social networks present an idealized version of other
people’s lives, which affects self-esteem. Networks present
manipulated images to sell products or make people feel
that the life of the “other” is better than their own, which
encourages voyeuristic and consumerist tendencies that can
lead to obsessing over the lives of others and comparing
one’s own life to these idealized representations. Self-
esteem collapses under the weight of constant comparison.
The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated this dependency.
Isolation turned the phone into a lifeline and escape, there
was an endless stream of data to fill the void. Every
notification — a ping in the blue — triggered dopamine, and
the brain, hungry for gratification, demanded more. Today,
users spend five to six hours a day in front of the screen,
endlessly searching for that next reward.
Today it is quite common to walk into a restaurant and see a
family sharing a table but not words. They don’t engage in
conversation or interaction, their attention is fixed on their
mobile devices, incessantly taking selfies and posting
content about their experience, even bragging about where
they are and what they are eating — with the mandatory
photo —. All of this can lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as
focusing too much on oneself, reluctance to engage in
personal social interactions, and even the development of
narcissistic tendencies.
Paul, that morning, was visibly irritated. Anxiety gnawed at
him, the silence of the notifications made him feel invisible,
sabotaged. Despite his efforts, he could not find a way out.
Tired, defeated, he decided to rebel: he turned off the
phone with an abrupt gesture. Victory! Smiling, he starts to
focus on other things and begins to plan his day. However,
he would find it almost impossible to get out of the cycle
because he was, in fact, trapped in it. If he tried to reduce or
eliminate his phone use, he would experience withdrawal
symptoms similar to those of a person addicted and
deprived of the drug. Paul doesn’t know it but he is about to
lose the war. Fifteen minutes later, temptation overcomes
him. There is his phone waiting for him to look at it and
caress it. He resists, but Paul gets up, glances at the phone
and quickly activates it again, feeling relieved to see that he
hasn’t missed anything. However, the outlook for the day
looks bleak, with a predictable outcome that brings no real
change. He falls into the net once again, waiting anxiously
and with a lump in his throat for the “likes” he so longs for
but which do not arrive. Paul, like millions, is trapped in a
cycle he cannot break.
In many countries, cigarette manufacturers are required to
print the following warnings on cigarette packages: “This
product contains tar and carbon monoxide, carcinogenic
and toxic substances. There is no safe level for the
consumption of these substances” and “Cigarette smoking
has been shown to be harmful to health”. Perhaps cell
phone manufacturers should also be forced to include
warnings on the boxes, such as: “This product is highly
addictive. There is no safe level of use. It contains elements
that allow you to be manipulated and can cause serious
psychological disorders”.
Reflecting upon the evolution of social networks over the
past 25 years, it is evident that the dynamics of relationships
and human behavior have undergone significant changes.
Historically, relationships were characterized by their
straightforward nature, and individuals were more direct in
their interactions. The proliferation of social networks
introduced a new dimension in which individuals can easily
hide their identity and, thanks to anonymity, engage in
harmful and offensive behavior, verbal attacks, insults and
defamation with impunity. If the aggression is not motivated
to discredit a public figure, by political or commercial
interests, it suggests that the aggressor may have underlying
psychological and personality problems, seeking to release
their frustrations and violence against others. This situation
becomes particularly evident in cases of cyberbullying,
which are having a significant impact on young people, who,
due to their young age, do not yet possess the maturity to
deal with these situations, which can often lead to suicide.
Nevertheless, aggression can have a negative impact on a
person’s self-esteem, regardless of their age.
