Image courtesy of Tess herself.
You know how, when you go to look up a recipe online, most of the recipes are interwoven with some tangential story about the chef’s life? Have you ever read one of those and thought ‘man, I wish there was a version of this kind of recipe-blogging but instead of being whimsical and wholesome it was outrageously horny?’. Well have I got the guest blog for you! This stunningly sexy post – with accompanying recipe for cinnamon rolls – is by Tess, who has written some gorgeous guest blogs here before. One about she and her wife having the best sex of their lives, and another about gaming while the Hot Octopuss Pulse dispenses incredibly-distracting orgasms. You’re probably thinking ‘wow, how can she top either of these?’ and the answer is ‘with flour, butter, sugar, and some intensely powerful sex.’ Enjoy!
The recipe is real, by the way. Even if you don’t have a loved one to get cum-sticky with right now, you can absolutely make some cinnamon rolls.
Anything for a cinnamon roll
After one too many disappointing supermarket baked goods I set myself a goal: I was going to get good at baking. I started simple: cookies, scones, a basic loaf. And that built my confidence, enough for me to ask my wife what they would like me to try baking next. They pondered for a moment, and then said:
“Ooh, I’d do anything for a homemade cinnamon roll”
“Anything?” I said suggestively. They chuckled, knowing exactly where my thoughts were wandering.
“Yeah. Anything.”
For the Dough:
350g Strong White Flour
50g Butter
50g sugar
300ml cold milk
2 teaspoons dried yeast
I’ve always found the idea of sex as a debt to pay or a favour to be done really hot. Even though when I think about it, I’m being turned on by narrative exposition, the preamble, the porn cliche of “Maybe I can pay for the pizza another way? wink”. Sex can be a wonderful, mutual, shared experience — but I love when it isn’t. When I’m just someone performing a service, or selfishly indulging myself in someone’s body.
- Put the flour in a bowl, and heat the butter in a pan.
- Take about 50g of the flour from the bowl and add it to the melted butter to make a roux.
- Then whisk in the sugar and half of the milk.
- Take off the heat and stir in the rest of the milk.
- Mix the yeast into the bowl of flour. Then add the mix from the pan and bring together into a dough.
- Knead for 8-12 minutes.
- Leave the dough to rise (covered) in a warm place for at least an hour.
It all started early in the day, with my wife telling me with a smirk that they would “really like a cinnamon roll today”. And that horny anticipation kept growing as I started preparations. It’s very difficult to focus on baking when it has become linked to sex (seriously, we can’t look at cinnamon rolls without getting a little aroused). But this dough was too important for distractions, I had done research and two previous test batches to get to a recipe I was happy with, and tonight it had to go perfectly.
After leaving the dough to rise, I returned to see my wife applying their makeup, and I knew it was only so I could ruin it later. We look at each other hungrily, but don’t say anything at first. We try and occupy ourselves whilst waiting for the dough to rise but it’s no use. I look over at my wife and they’re shifting uncomfortably in their chair, their eyes betraying their desperation. Eventually, they whimper “…I need to be filled”.
“Well, I don’t have long” I say, and we rush to pull clothes off each other and fall into bed.
For the filling:
75g brown sugar
8g cinnamon
A spoonful of flour.
A bit of butter, melted
We are hurried and desperate. They pull me close whilst my fingers find that they are soaking wet from the hours of anticipation. One finger, then two fingers slide in easily and they fall back in relief. But I can feel that they can already take more, and soon I have four fingers deep into their clenching cunt. But they need to be filled more. I slip a thumb into their arse, and they moan harder but they still need more. As my hand fucks them they plead for me to fuck their arse. They switch my fingers out for theirs, and rub against their g-spot whilst vibing their clit. I get on top of them and they needily push their hole against the head of my girldick, their thighs trembling. They moan as I begin to fill them up, getting closer to orgasm but still they need more. Throwing aside all caution, I force their head into the mattress, leaving black streaks of smeared makeup over the sheets, and pound their arse. I thrust harder than I’ve ever dared to and I see them grin with delight.
When they shudder in orgasm, I feel the waves of it clench around me as I keep my cock deep inside them.
“You better be ready for more later” I tell them, with smug satisfaction, as I go and clean up and check on my precious dough.
- Mix all the filling ingredients together in a bowl to get the texture of soft sand.
- Line a rectangular tray with baking paper and place the dough in the middle. Flatten the dough out to fill the tray, it should be about 1 cm thick.
- Spread the filling evenly over the dough, but leave bare a 1cm edge on one of the long sides. Press the filling gently into the dough.
- Roll the dough into a swiss roll shape, starting opposite the bare edge. The bare edge will stick and seal the dough together.
- Cut into 12 equal pieces and space them apart in the tray on the baking paper.
- Once again, cover the dough and leave to rise for 30 mins.
We cleaned up, then I went and formed the rolls. There’s a lot of waiting around in baking, plenty of time to rest and let the horn build up again.
- Bake in the oven at 180C (fan) for 14-18 minutes, until cooked through.
- Coat with a little melted butter.
- Leave to cool.
They squirmed with frustration in their chair when I told them that the rolls still needed to cool. It’s always the hardest step to do, but one you shouldn’t skip. Fortunately, I was enjoying making them wait a little bit longer.
For the icing:
150g icing sugar
Milk
Splash of Vanilla Essence (to flavour, optional)
- In a bowl, add icing sugar (and vanilla) and a splash of milk. Stir a lot. Add a TINY amount of milk and mix together, and repeat till it is your desired consistency. It should be somewhere between a spreadable paste and a thick drizzle.
- Tear a roll out of the batch, add the icing, then serve.
I took a cinnamon roll for both of us to the bedroom where they were waiting for me, but now I was almost too cruel. I took a bite of mine and denied them theirs. It was lovely and warm, incredibly soft and the perfect amount of sweetness. The cinnamon warmth being neatly cut through by the vanilla icing.
“You know what you have to do to get yours, right?”
I make them kneel beneath me. I love seeing them like this, so gorgeous and submissive. With one hand I grab the back of their head and with the other I am holding my cinnamon roll. I push their head towards my girldick and demand they open their mouth, I let their tongue swirl around the head and then I make them look at me as I take an exaggerated bite of my roll. I feel them shift beneath me at how mean I am being, and I savour it.
They suck on me for a while as I take more bites of my roll, and tease them about how good it is, and how they won’t get any until they make me cum. When I put the rest of the roll back on the plate, they get their dildo and toy and settle in for the face-fucking they expect. I slowly fill their mouth, watching them adjust and breathe as they try to accommodate me. I pick my roll back up and thrust, taking another bite like I don’t even care that they’re there, but that tongue is incredible and I can’t help but gasp.
After my last bite of the roll I have both hands free, so I place them on both sides of their head, and feel them subtly move to get their throat ready for me. A hand comes to rest on my thigh, ready to tap out, and that is my signal to begin. I fuck their face, steadily gaining pace as the sensation overtakes me, every time I hit the back of their throat it pulses in response and it feels incredible. My eyes close and I lose awareness of anything else but my own pleasure.
I zone back in, almost dizzy from the euphoria. I pull out, having a twinge of concern at how rough I just was, but they didn’t tap out. They are a beautiful mess, with the remains of makeup running down their face as they gasp for air.
And all they say to me is “more”.
So now I treat their throat as a just hole to get off with. Thrusting at the same pace I would use during a wank, pushing their head into the position to get just the right feelings on my dick, the sensation is amazing but I am intoxicated by the feeling of self centred power I have in this moment.
I push them hard down on my dick and hold it there as I savour the moment, and that pushes them over the edge. Their free hand digs into my arse, holding me in place as they cum again, twitching and choking on my cock, and with a toy loudly buzzing against their clit. They release their grip on me and slump backwards with a grin. My butt cheek stings from how hard they dug in. I look at their exhausted, blissed out face and I take my payment by splattering it in cum. They laugh and scrunch up their face as my cum drenches them, running off their face and down onto their tits. I love seeing them covered in cum, but they do not like the sensation, and that makes it even hotter for me. It’s my guilty pleasure, it’s special.
But now they finally get their hard earned reward, and with their first bite into it, they close their eyes and sigh with relief.
And they’d do it all again for another batch.
