The female orgasm is often misconstrued as “mysterious,” when it’s really just more complex. In fact, women are actually built to orgasm longer, and potentially more intense, than men.
If that fact surprises you, read on. We’ll explain everything about the female orgasm, different types of orgasms, and how to pleasure a woman.
What Is A Female Orgasm?
Orgasm is often described as intense feelings of pleasure radiating from their genitals throughout the body. Heart rate rises, breathing quickens, and your metabolism ratchets up.
Researchers have broken down the female sexual response cycle into four phases:
1. Excitement
This is the state of arousal before actual sex, when your body starts preparing itself through a complex chain of hormonal and neurological interactions.
Studies show that even just thinking about or anticipating sexually arousing scenarios can trigger the release of testosterone (drives sexual desire) and estrogen (vaginal lubrication). Adrenaline begins coursing through the body, and it can feel like your whole body is blushing.
2. Plateau
As sexual tension builds, the adrenal glands release even more adrenaline, which dilates your blood vessels, increases your heart rate, and diverts blood flow from other parts of the body to your genitals. The brain hones in on sex and the clitoris may become very sensitive.
3. Climax
This is when your heart rate is at its highest. Muscles pulse and contract in the vagina and uterus, and there is a feeling of release as oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and dopamine (pleasure centers) flood the body.
4. Resolution
After orgasm crests, the body relaxes and your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing return to a more normal rate. Prolactin doubles and oxytocin calms things down, creating a sense of deep satisfaction and well-being.
Are There Different Types Of Orgasms?
One of the best parts about the female body is that it can experience a diverse range of orgasms. Women may reach orgasm through all kinds of sensory pathways, from clitoral stimulation, hitting the G-spot and cervix during vaginal stimulation, and even solely from stimulating erogenous zones like the nipples.
Women also orgasm longer than men – a typical female orgasm lasts between 13 to 51 seconds, whereas a typical male orgasm lasts about 3 to 10 seconds. Every individual is different, and some people can experience several types of orgasms during a single session.
In a groundbreaking 2022 study analyzing pelvic floor movements during orgasm in people with vulvas, researchers identified three common patterns.
The Wave
Nearly half of the 54 participants exhibited “undulations or successive contractions of tension and release.” The wave feels more like a steady build-up of pleasure compared to a single explosive release.
The Volcano
About 20% of participants had lower pelvic floor tension that suddenly “erupted” during orgasm. As the name implies, volcano orgasms simmer for a while before building to an explosive peak. Rather than edging or stopping and starting, focus on sustained stimulation, such as using a vibrator on the G-spot, to maximize arousal before releasing.
The Avalanche
A third of participants experienced steep, high-tension buildup in pelvic floor tension and contractions, with a slower release of tension following climax. This may be achieved through continuous, steady stimulation – perhaps teasing and extended foreplay – for a longer period of time, and continuing stimulation for a prolonged climax as contractions taper off.
Why Do Some Women Have Difficulty Reaching Orgasm?
Though women can have longer and more complex orgasms than men, the stats show they don’t achieve them as often (or at least with a partner).
One landmark study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that only 65% of heterosexual women report consistently orgasming during sex – a stark disparity compared to 95% of heterosexual men and 86% of lesbian and queer women.
With less penis-centric sexual congress producing orgasm at much higher rates, the problem clearly goes beyond female biology.
Social stigma
Unfortunately, social stigma surrounding female sexuality still runs deep, especially in Western English-speaking countries. Puritanical norms and fears of being labeled can make it difficult for women to express their preferences in bed, or to even explore their own bodies and figure out their arousal preferences.
Considering the numbers, most heterosexual men have had a partner fake orgasm. Read more on the psychology of why women fake it.
Phallocentricity
Focusing solely on the procreative aspect of sex equates to focusing only on the male orgasm. Sex doesn’t just begin with penis-in-vagina insertion, and it doesn’t have to be over the moment he ejaculates.
While vaginal penetration favors male orgasms, most women are more likely to orgasm from clitoral stimulation and oral sex. There are several ways to have sex that don’t involve penetration, usually referred to as outercourse.
Lack of awareness
The clitoris is a highly sensitive bundle of nerves with deep-rooted clusters running along the female genitalia, and requires direct stimulation for orgasm. Considering that 41% to 61% of adult men can correctly identify or locate the clitoris, it’s no surprise we’re still talking about the orgasm gap.
Physiological problems
Just like how some men struggle with erectile dysfunction, women may have difficulty reaching orgasm due to physiological issues. Some conditions that can impact a woman’s ability to orgasm include:
- Hormonal imbalances
- Certain medications
- Menopause
- Conditions such as thyroid disease, diabetes, and nervous system disorders
- Pain with intercourse (dyspareunia)
- Pelvic floor disorders
- Childbirth injuries
Fortunately, many of these conditions can be addressed with medical intervention. Those struggling with any of the conditions above, or experiencing a sudden inability to orgasm, should consult with their gynecologist, who may refer you to a specialist.
What Are Some Ways To Make A Woman Orgasm?
Women can experience a wide range of orgasms through different kinds of stimulation. Simultaneous stimulation of multiple erogenous zones, done the right way, can even create blended orgasms.
Clitoral Orgasms
This is the most common type of orgasm, which is unsurprising since the clitoris is a female sex organ whose sole function is for pleasure.
Containing over 10,000 nerve endings, the clitoris consists of internal and external parts. The external clitoris is a small bud hidden at the top of the vulva behind the clitoral hood, which retracts during arousal.
How to stimulate a clitoral orgasm
To stimulate a clitoral orgasm, warm up with gentle touches along the body and the outer areas of the vulva or inner thighs. The clitoris is highly sensitive, and lubricant is always helpful to reduce friction. When a woman is fully aroused, the clitoris will swell and become more visible.
Use a finger to draw small circles around or directly on the clitoris, or stroke in horizontal or vertical motions. If direct rubbing is too overwhelming, try a light tapping rhythm or apply gentle, steady pressure. You can also use a small vibrator on or near the clitoris either as part of foreplay or during penetration for steady, intense stimulation.
Vaginal Orgasms
Vaginal orgasms come from the famous “G-spot,” an erogenous zone located around 2-3 inches deep along the anterior wall of the vagina.
Though vaginal orgasms are often touted as the “ultimate goal”, recent research reveals the G-spot to likely be part of the internal clitoral network, meaning that vaginal orgasms are technically clitoral as well…. Not that it matters, as long as you’re having a good time.
How to stimulate a vaginal orgasm
First, foreplay! You can start with light clitoral stimulation, or caressing of erogenous zones (there are dozens along the female body).
When aroused, the cervix retreats and blood flows to the clitoris, making space for penetration and heightened touch. Glands along the vaginal walls will also secrete natural lubrication (but extra lube can only help reduce friction).
Slowly insert a finger or toy aimed at the front wall of the vagina facing towards the bellybutton. Remember, this is where the G-spot is located, and curling your fingers upwards in a “come hither” motion will help stimulate the G-spot.
During penetration, you can stimulate a vaginal orgasm by angling towards the G-spot. In positions like prone bone (when the woman is lying on her belly with her partner penetrating from behind) and missionary, put a pillow under the hips to tilt the pelvis upwards, and aim to stroke towards the front of the vaginal wall.
Always continuously check in with your partner about what speed, rhythm, and depth feel best in the moment. Adding clitoral stimulation during penetration can ante up the sensations – wand vibrators are easy for either partner to grip and adjust during sex.
Cervical Orgasms
The cervix is a narrow canal connecting the vagina and the uterus. Located at the very back of the vagina, the cervix is surrounded by sheaves of nerves which may feel pleasurable during deep penetration. While cervical orgasms aren’t always common, some people can orgasm from the feeling of “fullness” along with stimulation of those deep vaginal nerve endings.
In a small study of 132 women, 46% of women reported that cervical stimulation contributed to their orgasms. For others, cervical stimulation can be uncomfortable or even painful, and the majority of women require some degree of direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm.
Cervical orgasms are typically described as being more “full-bodied” and intense. MRI scans of the brain’s response to cervical touch show that cervical stimulation lights up different sensory pathways than those stimulated by clitoral stimulation.
How to stimulate a cervical orgasm
You can stimulate the cervix with fingers, toys, or penis. Cervical stimulation is something to build up to, ensuring the woman’s arousal and having plenty of lubrication on hand is paramount.
When a woman is extremely aroused, the uterus lifts and vagina lengthens, easing the path for cervical stimulation. The best timing to try a cervical orgasm may be a few days before a woman has her period, when the cervix sits lower in the vaginal canal.
Many different types of touch can feel good, from rhythmic intercourse with a partner (if your penis or strap-on can reach the cervix) to stimulating the sides of the cervix with your fingers or a larger vibrator. During penetrative sex, sex positions like doggy style, missionary, and cowgirl allow for deep thrusting.
You can also stimulate the A-spot, a “soft corner” between the vaginal wall and side of the cervix, with a slim toy, for a blended orgasm.
Blended Orgasms
Blended orgasms result from the stimulation of several erogenous zones at the same time to create an intense, whole-body sensation. Using a toy or fingers on the clitoris or anus during vaginal penetration, for example, can stimulate several intertwining networks of nerves for a deeply pleasurable experience.
As always, communication and consent are key. Get to know your partner’s favorite spots, what makes them tick, and check in frequently. Like conducting an orchestra, building up to tremendous crescendos are only possible when everyone is on the same page.
Conclusion
Don’t be scared off by complex terminology or discouraged by a lack of response. With practice, constant communication, and a basic understanding of female anatomy, the female orgasm can be right at your fingertips. To learn more ways to make a woman cum, check out our extensive guides!
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