Napoleon Bonaparte and I now share two things — we’re both entirely average height for a contemporary man (apparently everyone was 170cm, or 5”5’, short, sorry, tall, in the 1800s, although I would tower over him today) and we’ve both gorged on the grandeur of Villa San Michele.
Although, I’m fairly sure ROAM’s recent stay towers over his when it comes to levels of luxury, food and, in particular, air-conditioning.
It’s hard to believe Napoleon’s obsequious staff were any nicer to him than the warm, lovely Italians who now run this stunning Belmond hotel, recently and delicately renovated over 18 months so as to take nothing away from the aura of history that seeps from its grand edifices — it was a haunted monastery for a good 200 years before Napoleon made it his Italian base; the facade was designed by Michelangelo — yet adding modern touches, like cupboards and drawers that feel like expensive luggage in which to store your expensive luggage.
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The other thing you notice, every single time you enter your light, bright and airy room, are the little touches — like the new platters of vittles, some of which look more like a set-up for a still-life painting class (watercolour painting is just one of the many complimentary, on-site activities Villa San Michele offers daily) because the fruit is just too perfect to eat, while others, like the giant cake that warmed the room on arrival, next to a chilled bottle of Moet & Chandon, reflect a very Italian desire to make sure you are not just fed, but stuffed at all times.
The bedside culinary highlight was a large plate covered in chunks of perfect parmesan cheese, which seemed like too much for one human to ingest, but was not.
Also much appreciated was the quality of the little cushion left next to the bed each night so that pampered feet never touched cool tiles.
Fortunately there are plenty of opportunities to work off at least some of the many ingested calories (a breakfast table so heaving with cakes and other sweet things that it looked like the set of an Italian Alice In Wonderland did not help) by exploring the terraced, tumbling gardens that surround the villa, covering some 2500sqm, blessed with uncountable flowers at knee level and unbeatable views of Florence (incredibly, not that different from what Napoleon would have gazed at, including the imposing Duomo, completed in 1436 — only the football stadium hints at modernity) and Tuscan verdant hills hazing the horizon.
Everywhere you explore in this lush wonderland, you keep finding new resting places, thoughtfully placed so you can relax and have space to yourself.
Credit: Supplied/Supplied
There are only 39 rooms (and three excellent restaurants, including a poolside grill that takes pizza onto a different plane of subsistence), but there is space, and dozens of garden umbrellas, for each guest to feel completely alone, and spoiled within millimetres of their lives.
The very top tier of the climbing gardens features a heated 25m pool to wash away whatever cares you might have left after experiencing even a single day in the rarefied air of this highest-end establishment.
Villa San Michele. Credit: MATTIA AQUILA
It’s also worth taking a wander through the rambling and occasionally confusing interior of the villa — if you do get lost, it will be worth it — where you will find a fresco of The Last Supper, painted in 1606. It would barely surprise if it was by Leonardo himself, so filled with surprises are the art-packed walls of this hotel.
The balcony where you will drag out breakfast for hours, just to soak in the city views, is another highlight.
Credit: Supplied/Supplied
There is just one note of caution to strike — do not try to drive yourself to Villa San Michele, or not unless you are a native Italian or a fearless daredevil (these might be both the same thing).
The last couple of kilometres of road climb, twist and narrow in an increasingly alarming fashion, and even when being transferred in one of the hotel’s vans you will find yourself breathing in involuntarily as traffic approaches and negotiates the seemingly impassable.
The pool at Villa San Michele. Credit: Supplied
Then again, breathing in sharply in wonder and awe is something you just have to get used to when staying somewhere as spectacular as Villa San Michele.
Standard rooms from $1600 a night; belmond.com
