Warning: Distressing content
A NSW mother says she had no choice but to move her six-year-old to another primary school after her concerns about her child being exposed to sexualised behaviour by another student went ignored.
The mother, referred to as Mary to protect her identity, withdrew her child from a Catholic school in the Illawarra region in June after seven months of raising concerns she said were not adequately addressed.
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Mary said she first became worried in November last year when her child came home with knowledge about how to perform a sexual act. She said her child learnt the behaviour from another student.
“That was the first eye-opener for my husband and I. (We thought,) ‘What’s happening?’” she told 7NEWS.com.au.
She said her child later disclosed another student, referred to as Tom, had repeatedly encouraged her child to engage in inappropriate behaviour and tried to involve the six-year-old in sexual acts during breaks in the bush surrounding the school’s oval.
The child said Tom also told them to engage in sexual behaviour with other students on the playground.
The family immediately reported their concerns to the school and requested the two students be placed in separate classes the following year.
However, she alleged the behaviour continued despite that change.
“We thought once they were in different classrooms it would stop, but things actually got worse,” she said.
Over the following seven months, Mary said her child repeatedly disclosed further incidents involving Tom during breaks at school.
The family said each incident was reported to the school, Catholic Education and the Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ).
“We’d have to ask our child, were you taken to the bush today?” Mary said.
“And my husband and I thought, ‘this is ridiculous’. We shouldn’t be asking a six-year-old these questions every day.”
Mary said the ordeal had a significant emotional toll on the child.
The once enthusiastic student, who previously woke up excited to go to school each morning, gradually became withdrawn and reluctant to attend.
“Towards the end, we’d have to ‘bribe’ [the child] to go to school. There was no excitement anymore because Tom was there. It was so sad to watch.”
Although advised to move the child to another school, Mary said she initially resisted because she believed the family should not have to leave.
“It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have been our child who had to move,” she said.
Repeated complaints
Mary said she repeatedly sought help from the school but felt little changed.
She alleges the principal and assistant principal held a meeting with herself and the child, who became too intimidated to speak.
“The school just kept saying they couldn’t do anything because our child wasn’t reporting it directly on the day,” she said.
Mary claims the principal described the behaviour as “innocent and exploratory” and told the family the school would not discipline Tom or speak with the student’s family.
“The principal confirmed they’re not going to discipline him. There’s going to be no consequences. They confirmed that the behaviour is innocent and exploratory. They confirmed they’re not going to sit down with ‘Tom’ and tell him what he’s done is wrong. And we wanted to make sure that is their last stance on it all. They said yes, and if we have an issue with it, put in a complaint,” Mary said.
“I just said to the principal that I’m very, very angry and I just am very confused by it all.”
Mary alleged the school introduced measures intended to separate the two students during the school day, “to keep us happy”.
However, she believes those measures unfairly isolated the child.
In one email seen by 7NEWS.com.au, Mary questioned why the child had been prevented from playing with friends because Tom was nearby.
“[My child] felt sad and said it was unfair,” the email reads.
Mary described the situation as “horrible”, saying her child “was being punished for wanting to play with their friends”.
“The school should have moved ‘Tom’ on, not my child. My child should be able to play with their friends and we found it unfair if ‘Tom’ was there with his friends that my child was punished.”
7NEWS.com.au understands more than one Year 1 student has moved schools.
Other parents raise concerns
The allegations have also left other Year 1 parents concerned.
A second mother, referred to as Jane to protect her identity, said she noticed what she believed was a “safety plan” involving “Tom”.
“He was being supervised by a teacher at the school, like in a classroom setting or in the library when they had their meal break, so lunch or recess, he was being supervised on his own,” Jane said.
“But he had the option to choose one or two friends to play with him at lunchtime in this supervised setting.
“We weren’t informed at all about this arrangement and there were a number of occasions where my child was being chosen to go play with Tom.
“So that was a bit concerning to us, considering the circumstances.”
Jane said she emailed the principal seeking clarification and was later told by phone that the situation was under control.
School and authorities respond
In a notice sent to parents on May 19, the principal acknowledged there had been “conversations within the Year 1 parent community regarding child safety and peer relationships”.
“I want to reassure you that the safety and wellbeing of all our students remain our highest priority,” the notice said.
“Please be assured that any concerns raised by parents are addressed following our school policies and procedures.
“We also work closely with the Catholic Education Office to ensure the best possible outcomes and support for our students.”
A notice sent by the principal to parents on May 19. Credit: 7NEWS
The school and its principal did not respond to requests for comment from 7NEWS.com.au.
The Catholic Education Diocese of Wollongong confirmed it was aware of the matter and said it continued to respond in accordance with its policies and relevant legislation.
“The school and specialist staff are aware of this matter and continue to respond in ways that are consistent with system policies and processes, the relevant legislation, and with the privacy and wellbeing of students as the highest priorities,” a spokesperson said in a statement.
“A parent complaint about the school’s processes in responding to this matter is currently being addressed through our complaints management processes.
“With this in mind, it would not be appropriate to provide further information at this time.”
The NSW Department of Communities and Justice confirmed it had been notified of the matter but declined to comment due to privacy obligations.
Mary said she was a devout Christian, who lived her life by the faith’s morals, but she felt let down by the school.
“We’re strong Christians and believe in the Christian values and morals in terms of raising our family and the life that we lead,” she said.
“That’s why we sent our child to a Catholic school.
“But obviously we don’t believe those values were upheld.”
“Something needs to be done.”
The names of the family and children in this story have been changed to protect their identities.
