It’s rated by many as Yorkshire’s Top Dog
It doesn’t have Michelin stars
Instead by the side of the A61
Its flag bears the sign of five cars.
It’s just outside Wakey and serves cordon bleu
That Ronay bloke wouldn’t believe
You’ll soon spot the owner in his greasy smock
He’s known as old Scoop-It-Up Steve.
It’s said that he ventures the dark woods at dusk
With his sidelights and headlights turned off
Hoping to top up his freezer for free
With red deer or maybe its calf.
His signature dish is badger, I’m told
You’re lucky if it’s on today
It’s not like he buys his meat in to order
Down at the Roadkill Cafe.
And Steve hates to see God’s pets suffering pain
And if by the kerb one is laid
Cos some careless motorist winged it and so
He’ll finish it off with his spade.
The pie is to die for (it certainly did)
Struck by his Ford Cabriolet
But maybe it’s squirrel or your neighbour’s dog
For lunch at the Roadkill Cafe.
What you might think chicken is blackbird or crow,
Squashed pigeon or even a jay;
It’s no good you asking, he’ll just tap his nose
Down at the Roadkill Cafe.
When word gets about his “Special” is on
The gourmets will bring in their wives
His feral cat flan is a rare treat indeed
For all cats are blessed with nine lives.
It doesn’t appear in the Good Veggie Guide
Though he did try once serving hay
But Scoop-It-Up Steve’s a real wildlife fan
When it’s dead
at the Roadkill Cafe.
