For my friend’s birthday, she wanted all of us to go polar plunging on a Monday night. My first instinct was no; I had a test the next day so the responsible choice felt obvious. I knew, though, that I wasn’t going to study anymore while they were out anyway, so I went.
We laughed, we froze in the water and we stood on the side of the road shivering while waiting for our Uber. Between the chaos and the cold, it hit me that if I said no, I would’ve missed something genuinely fun and memorable.
That moment changed how I approach opportunities. Since then, I’ve started saying yes more often, especially when my first instinct is to say no. The shift has led me to meet new people, join clubs I would have previously avoided and try things I didn’t know I’d enjoy. Through the people I have met, I’ve been able to hear different perspectives about life and the world.
While diving into the unknown doesn’t always guarantee a perfect outcome, it does guarantee growth. It forces you to figure out what you actually like, instead of staying limited to what feels safe.
Of course, saying yes is not always easy, as new situations can cause anxiety for many. Walking into a room full of strangers or trying something unfamiliar can feel like being thrown into the deep end without knowing how to swim.
The truth is, we often say no more than we realize, and fear, usually of failure, judgment or rejection from others, tends to be behind it. Even when we want to say yes, those fears hold us back.
Psychologist Emily Kenny suggests that people frequently reject opportunities they are interested in simply because they anticipate failure. That hesitation can quietly shape our lives, limiting our opportunities before we even give them a chance.
There’s comfort in a consistent routine that’s hard to escape; once we settle into a pattern of classes, studying and hanging out with the same group of friends, it becomes easy to stay there. But staying in that comfort zone can just be as limiting as fear itself. The more we resist stepping outside of what’s familiar, the more we miss what exists beyond it.
Personal growth doesn’t come from doing the same thing every day; it comes from being vulnerable.
While the discomfort is real, it is where resilience is built. The more you involve yourself in those situations, the less intimidating they become. What once felt overwhelming slowly turns into something manageable or even exciting.
College is one of few places where you’re surrounded by opportunities for exploration. There are numerous opportunities for someone to be involved in school and to meet others with the same interests as you, but they only matter if you take them. Waiting until you feel ready or more confident means you could be waiting forever. Skip the wait and take the leap while you still have a chance to unlock your potential.
Saying yes doesn’t always mean abandoning responsibility or priorities; it means recognizing when fear, not logic, is making your decision. If saying yes doesn’t place you in danger, just say yes.
Not every “yes” will lead to something life changing. Some plans will be awkward or not reach expectations, but even those moments have value. They teach you what you don’t like, build your tolerance for saying no and make the good moments feel more meaningful.
The next time when you find yourself hesitating about joining a club, going out with new people or trying something completely unexpected, pause before you automatically say no. Ask yourself why you’re holding back. If the answer is fear, that might be your sign to go for it.
Because most of the time, the best parts of college and life start with a simple yes.
Ava Schwartz can be reached at [email protected]
