Someday, I want to do more than just exist.
I want to live
without apologising for it
without begging for permission.
Perhaps some freedom from my own thoughts
and that constant mental battle of attrition.
However, for now
I am just here.
I’ve been lost in waves of silence,
drowned beneath the weight of it all,
I’ve stood toe to toe with the edge of cliffs
knowing just how far there is to fall.
Yet I am still here.
I never asked for this fight,
never asked to be here at all,
to carry this noise within my chest,
to rise each time I fall.
And still-
I am here.
Not because its easy
nor because I’m unafraid.
But because something deep within me
quiet and stubborn,
refuses still to fade.
So I keep breathing-
even when the air feels thin
even when every small step forward
feels like my heart might just cave in.
I choose to stay.
I choose to stand.
And I choose this fragile, aching ground
beneath my trembling hands.
Because surviving,
that simple, brutal art
of letting my lungs fill once more
and keeping time with a breaking heart,
is its own quiet defiance.
A persistant heartbeat that’s drawing near:
I am still here.
I am still here.
I am still here.
And maybe that’s enough for now,
to take just one more breath.
To turn my back upon the dark
and look forward to all that’s left.
To stand, even now
against all fear
and call it victory,
simply because…
I. Am. Still. Here.
