Our good and kindly Government

wrote to me today.

Because I’m rather elderly

they would like to pay

one hundred pounds to my account

to keep me warm and snug.

 

When I have spent this

nice free cash

on heating up the house.

I’ll spend a comfy Christmas

using lots of costly gas.

 

At the end of chilly winter,

‘cos my income is quite fair,

they will take the hundred back again

like it was never there.

 

How much did that letter cost?

And what interest was lost?

On millions of payments

clawed back.

Forever lost?

 

The Mad Hatter

would have thought this,

too absurd to contemplate.

Just a State

in state of chaos

splashes hard earned

on fake cash.

 

It was nice to have a letter

to brighten my dull day.

Now it’s in recycle

and my Council Tax will pay.